Divorce: Stage 5 – Acceptance
By Robert Rudelic BS, NMT, MES
All of the articles in this series:
Are you now over letting your past and emotional wounds control you? Emotional freedom is at your fingertips…
ac·cept·ance – the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.
Accepting your new reality does not mean that you necessarily feel good or right about the loss of your previous way of life. This stage is about accepting the fact that you’re living a new reality and how this new reality will impact your life and relationships. Acceptance does not mean that you slip back into denial – pretending that none of this has happened. Acceptance means embracing the present – both good and bad – in order to shape the future. It does not mean that you no longer can think about your past, out of sight does not have to mean out of mind. It’s important to reflect upon the good times you had with your partner.
New priorities are now on your plate and as you begin to take ownership of your new responsibilities and work toward accomplishing tasks, you will feel a sense of pride in the results. Near the end of the acceptance stage, you will find yourself beginning to actually look forward to a promising new future.
Be aware that the past is past; it’s time to live in the present, and even though the future is perhaps still a bit unknown, it’s time to start preparing yourself to step forward into the future.
You are in control and get to define “moving on” – no one can determine that for you. It’s time to completely let go of your remaining feelings of blame, resentment and regret and by doing so you will truly experience the freedom to move forward.
It’s then – when you begin the process to stop and reflect, turn inward and do the work on yourself that you’ll experience dramatic and positive changes in your life.
When you begin the inner work you will realize things that have been unresolved for years. You become more conscious of your behavior and your choices. You become aware of the subconscious and how it can run your life and how you can quickly – with the right tools change a negative pattern to a positive one, release the emotional wounds that flare up when triggered and create extraordinary changes.
Some of the positive effects of acceptance include:
- An exciting time and a chance to rediscover yourself
- Having time for yourself to work on your mental, emotional and physical health
- Finding your confidence and feeling empowered and embrace the ability to kick limiting beliefs to the curb
The damaging effects of staying stuck in acceptance:
You can’t stay suck in this stage forever – life must go on – you must be willing to change. Change is the only way to grow and progress into the person you want to become.
Being afraid of change can be devastating to your progress. What if you are ready to make an exciting positive change in your life, when suddenly you feel it: the cold, iron grip of uncertainty. Even though part of you is excited about the possibility of change, there’s another part that’s attached to your present reality, comfortable with inaction – stopping any forward movement.
Instead of feeling a sense of joyful anticipation about the prospect of change, you might feel paralized by fear. There are so many questions: Am I really doing the right thing? Will I be overwhelmed by my new situation and decide that I’m just not up to its challenges? What if I fail?
When you keep an open mind and are willing to change, you are then able to grow into the person you want to become.
Acceptance for some can feel like compromise or an admittance you made mistakes and screwed up.
Acceptance can be a lingering state of uncertainty or a jumping off point of excitement. It’s easy to go from state to state feeling hopeful one moment and angry the next.
It’s easier to accept what’s happened and how it turned out when you have a real plan that’s been put into action and already taken root. You’ve already made the bargains needed to bridge the gap between where you were to where you are going. You came to realize being angry is not a functional way to get things done and you’ve already decided being stalled in depression is not how you want to feel for the rest of your life.
It’s time to move from Acceptance to Ownership.
Taking ownership means you hold yourself accountable for all of your actions both positive and negative and how you handled yourself during the transition.
Taking ownership is really taking responsibility for your life. It will accelerate your growth and development as an individual. Acceptance is not ownership, its ownership lite and that does not make you feel as powerful or confident in your-self as ownership does.
Here is a powerful exercise to make ownership real in your body/mind:
1 – 
Make a list of your mistakes, all of them that you made during your break up. Then – go through each mistake one by one, say it out loud while continuously tapping around your Left Ear (from front to back) then end it with saying “I’ve learned from my mistake and it’s made me a stronger, better person” and say that with emotion!
2 – Make a list of your triumphs, all of them, things you did well during your break-up, be thorough and include even the smallest wins. Then – go through each triumph one by one, say it out loud while continuously tapping around your Right Ear (from front to back) and end it with saying “I deeply love and accept myself, I’ve done a great job” and say that with emotion!
The exercise erases the old beliefs and replaces them with powerful new beliefs about your-self that reinforce your new life decisions. The exercise is from my body of work called PowerTapping and it’s a life changer. More on PowerTapping later.
Your new life is on the horizon –
ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM
If You Want to Learn How to –
- Own emotional composure
- Eliminate self-sabotaging beliefs
- Have an unshakable “Yes I Can Attitude”
- Bravely stand up for yourself, think ahead, and make decisions with clarity and confidence
Go to www.InvincibleDivorcee.com
My Program is an experiential training that pays off immediately by teaching you how to quickly change your mindset putting you in full control. You’ll learn how to replace the old beliefs with new beliefs and lock them in permanently, be inspired, and own emotional composure. The results are life-changing!
For more information, visit our PowerTapping page.
